Frustration: The Distant Cousin of Expectation

by Rev. Amari Magdalena

Frustration is defined as the prevention of a progress, success or the fulfillment of something. The last week has been personally very frustrating as I dealt with publishing my newest book.  I’d not used this publisher’s platform before (they shall remain unnamed).  Thinking I had finally mastered how to use it, I blithely ordered a proof copy of the book. No problem it seemed; everything looked fine. Progressed to the final step and hit the wall of rules!  It seems that while my proof copy was capable of printing on the spine; the finished copy could not as it required a certain minimum of pages. My tome was short 17 pages.

Frustration raised its irritable head while I fumed a bit and had multiple conversations with the publisher.  The plot thickened as, at one point, they mixed up the new book with an old one. My new book disappeared!  Almost in tears at this point, I had to retreat a bit an investigate why I was feeling this way.

And, then it struck me, Expectation!  How very often, knowingly or subliminally, we engage a process with the expectation that all will go well.  Often that supposition works rather well.  We able to manifest after our heart’s desire. Sometimes there is cosmic interference. When Plan A is thwarted frustration does a little hoochie-coochie dance with the expectation.  I suspect she was laughing at me rather gleefully.

After all the gesticulating, posturing, swearing, wringing of hands, and table pounding subside, one must deal with the limitation imposed. Took some time for me to blather out, “It is what it is.” In my plans, the one the Gods make fools of us over, I had perfect timing in mind.  The numbers all lined up beautifully.  Every step of the way, master numbers prevailed.

Oh, the cosmic joke of it all!  Humor is the only ultimate salvation when we get too far down the slippery slope of frustration.  That, or go over the edge.  And, then, one must assess their demands on the Universe and surrender to Universal timing. Ah, the letting go thing!  At some point in the scenario of our not getting what we expected, there comes a moment when we have to push off the edge in the current that is flowing  It may not be the direction we’d mapped out, though it is most definitely is the course this river is taking.

So this finds me at the eleventh hour waiting for the cosmic nod, knowing that it will most definitely come.  As always, there is a reason and usually it is for my highest good.  Pumping out another 18 pages, one extra just to spite them, I was able to add value at the direction of my inner muse. Ultimately, it is a better book for it.

Tomorrow, or the next day, or even next week, I will be guided to push the “publish” button with the confidence that it is the right time.  As I instruct in the book, I will stop breath holding and breathe deeply.  So next time frustration comes your way, perhaps you may draw a little wisdom from this tome and STOP! Trust the Universe; trust yourself.  When it is time, when we quite trying to paddle against the current, we free up flow and the Universe will carry us to the fulfillment of our dreams.

The Blue Iris represents hope whose wisdom I commit to follow now!

“At times it is folly to hasten, at other times, to delay. The wise do everything in its proper order.”  Ovid

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.  I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning to do afterward." Kurt Vonnegut

When Not to Help Others

Rev. Amari Magdalena

Most of you reading this are innate helpers.  You care deeply about others, are empathetic, and a natural helper/healer.  What a gift you have!  How wonderful that you can offer yourself in service to others in your unique way.  So your asking yourself when is the ‘but’ coming or why is there a problem with this. My answer is timing and request.

This is a tough one for many of us, me included.  I was so often problem solving in my kids lives that I’ve often been informed by them that they are adults. I’ve had to learn to listen better when they share, not respond with my similar story, and only then, ask if they would like to hear a suggestion. Of course, preparing for the answer that they may not want my suggestion.

I’ve observed the help issue in many situations lately with some of my metaphysical friends.  As I reacted to unsolicited help, expertise, or unwanted divination with some degree of irritation, I thought it time to talk about it.  Why would I react away from help?  Because, I only needed an ear, not a solution.

I believe that what will ultimately heal humanity is when social/emotional environments are created in which people feel fully independent, empowered, and capable of handling their lives. In other words, that evolved human can say to themselves as issues arise, “You got this babe!”  The reasoning behind my belief is that when we are too dependent on others to solve our problems, we don’t own the results. Thus we always perceive ourselves as less capable, able, etc.

When we jumped to problem solving for others without giving them time to reflect, absorb, comes to terms with, etc., we can cause psychic and emotional harm.  Oh, yes, we intended for good but missed the mark. My question is, did we ask you?  No. When you jumped in with your solution, did we feel listened to?  No. When you consulted your own guides instead of giving us space to consult our own, why did we shrug you off? It was interference, plain and simple.

Well intentioned you may have been, I totally understand that.  It’s also possible that at some unconscious level, you were playing a little one-upsmanship. We can often get so full of ourselves we forget the source of our healing talents-Spirit. When I follow guidance, all is well.  When my ego gets in the way, no good comes of it.

I’ve been a Reiki Master for 25 years and a Shamanic Healer for almost 30.  If there is anything I’ve learned along the way, it is to get the hell of the way so Universal Life Force Energy can use you as a channel.  I had the wondrous experience of positively transmitting energy to heal burns, shoulder displacement, breast cancer tumors, gallstones, ovarian cancer, chemo aftereffects, troubled pregnancies, paralysis, tendon tears, hiatal hernias, psychological issues, anxiety, trauma etc.  And, I know without a doubt, I am the vehicle not the source.

When people have come to me for healing, the first thing I ask is: “Are you ready to be healed?” This is to make them a partner in the process.  I often spend time in a platica (heart talk) to discuss contributing factors like diet, stress, relationships etc. before we do the actual hands on work. I’m prone to giving homework to people so that clients can make claim to their own healing.  If this isn’t integrative medicine, I don’t know what is.

But I digress.  It is a wonderful thing when people reach out to help us when we are faced with an illness.  The feeling of having people who care is immeasurable. That said, please take time to truly hear the person and support all the emotions they may be having over a disagreeable diagnosis. * Give them space to cogitate, ruminate, and masticate the situation.  Trust that they have consulted their own inner physician for information. When they ask, oh Yes, show up. If I ask for a little energy or prayer on FB, I am very grateful that you are willing to do that and care. And, I will ask!  I’m in hopes you will also ask me.

Be the help that is invited, and you will be providing an amazing service. Know the right moment and you’ll have loving, devoted friends forever.  They’ll love that you gave space and then showed up when the team (tribe) was called in. Then, and only then, will you serve to uplift and carry out your service.

"When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed." Maya Angelou

"It's impossible to hold up the banners of victim and victory at the same time." Lysa TerKeurst

"Be helpful but don't allow others to depend on you too much.  Help by teaching them how to help themselves."

*One exception is when the person is unconscious or unable to respond. In that case, the family may ask for your healing help.

Circles That You Find

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

Our outer and inner Cosmos’ contain many circles.  Our planet and others in our solar system are round. In our lifetimes, we will be participants in circles; some beautiful and fulfilling, others perhaps challenging.  The unbroken symmetry of circle moves us through the medicine wheels of our lives.

We are born, pushed through a circle as the womb and cervix dilate and the round head presses through the opening of the vagina.  Most of us were surrounded then by welcoming family and/or the attendants at our arrival.  Some would go on to know siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and peripheral family and close friends.  Others would not be so fortunate yet would still be in circles institutionalized though they may have been.

As our lives progressed, we would join other circles of marriage, unions, fraternal organizations, institutions of learning, celebratory, social, life passages etc.  Our inherent need for socializing moves us throughout many circles as we spend time on this planet.  Yet sadly so many of us live alone now, in boxes.

One wonders, why we’ve constructed structures in square and rectangular fashion.  We are most often housed in structures with corners and right angles. Having lived in the great American Southwest many times, I was often struck by the adobe homes.  Corners were rounded.  Archways prevailed between rooms.  Everywhere there was demonstration of the feminine hand working what might have been angles into curves. Though the structures themselves were not round; the curves compensated.  Perhaps these constructs represented both the Yin and Yang aspects of the builders.

Why then do we live in these confining structures?  I am reminded that most laboratory experiments with animals find them contained in square or rectangular cages.  When we visit a zoo and see the animals in their respective indoor enclosures, they too are in right-angle structures.  No wonder they pace; we all would if so enclosed.  Yet we are; just bigger cages.  Confinement is the name of the game. We need to find ways to spend more time in circles, for sanity.

One of my great attractions and love of shamanism came from joining rituals that were conducted in circles-indoors and outside.  When I lived in Sedona with an accessible roof top garage, I was gifted the ability to create an outdoor medicine wheel on it.  In South Albuquerque, I celebrated the moons and seasonal changes in a Kiva.  In Tucson, I had a beautiful outdoor altar for ceremonies.

Indoors and out, except for my current small apartment, I’ve had a large floor medicine wheel defined by hand-made Ruins tiles.  When I can sponsor a small moon gathering here, I create the same on a small round coffee table.  Yet I so miss my big medicine wheel.  I also feel the loss of participating in more outdoor circles due to my physical walking limitations.  Yet the memories of many beautiful circles keep me at peace.

Circles remind us that life is always moving.  As we move around one, we experience the rhythmic movement of the sun and moon from ascending energy to descending-rising and falling.  This, for me, helps me stay in touch with a concept that all things change.  We experience birth, growth, and death. We also experience community in circles-vital social connection. 

Ultimately, I believe, it is in sharing circles that we build our tribe.  I feel tribal connection is the missing piece of experiencing greater peace worldwide. I’m reminiscing about the Coca-Cola commercial with “I’d like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love… I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony” with people of all colors, races, etc. gathering.  It was about connection and finding something everyone enjoyed sharing-commercial though it was.

In Atlanta, for the three years I lived there, Jeni and Rick Prigmore sponsored a Peace Circle every Wednesday evening.  For that night, in the middle of the week, we sat in circle holding Earth Globes or imagined ones and affirmed for peace.  It was a family (tribe) of love.

Our chaotic times and fractured attention from digitized living, call for more circles.  My hope would be that wherever you are, be moved to restore circles; all kinds of circles.  Bring people together!  Build sweat lodges and round structures.  Celebrate those influential globes in the heavens that so affect our living.  Foster tribes for good. Get out of the windmills of your mind and engage in the circles that you find.

“A circle is the reflection of eternity.  It has no beginning and it has no end-and if you put several circles over each other, then you get a spiral.” Maynard James Keenan

“The whole universe is based on rhythms.  Everything happens in circle’s, in spirals.“  John Hartford

“Circles create soothing space, where even reticent people can realize that their voice is welcome.” Margaret J. Wheatley

My Brand's Better than Your Brand

By Rev Amari Magdalena

Wonder why there is so much seeming descension in the world when we talk about ascension? Competition is the culprit along with its twins Comparison and Envy.  We are in competition with one another, not unlike the survival of the fittest animal world.  Sad truth or real recognition?  In a world much in need of cooperation and collective consciousness for good, how on earth do we surrender our survival instinct?

Let’s start with the word “Brand” or “Branding.”  Like so many very “testosteronized” words, this evokes an image of placing a hot iron on an animal to identify ownership. It’s like “more bang for the buck.”  And, I could come with other examples of expressions in our lexicon that demonstrate a masculine warrior mindset.

Language creates culture.  More than ever we are seeing this evidenced as American English is being impacted by emojis, memes, hip-hop, and many other sources of modification and adaptation. It appears we are talking to one another through our brands (personas) and not our authentic selves.

I was involved in advertising and marketing many years ago in a more in-depth way.  I came to understand the psychology of advertising. We had to assure that our product or service was miles ahead of the competition.  Some of that was about adding bells and whistles.  Other aspects were aggressive methods of mind games.  Personally, I strove to only develop marketing materials for products I believed actually added value when the company was mine.

Of course, today with multiple websites, I am completely aware of the need to share what I offer.  Yet, somewhere in the gap of manipulating one another and creating perceived need, is a call for truth and connection.  Connection is the much-needed game, yet our attempts to brand, separate us.

Capitalism is being held most responsible for our current raging consumerism.  Even small children are targeted and turned into consumer robots at earlier and earlier ages. We are programmed to want more. I’m reminded of the song Madonna sang in Dick Tracy, More. Lyrics ended with “and what will we want when we have it all?  More!

Sadly, we are easily hypnotized into to purchasing goods whether we need them or not.  Being good trained consumers, we often look for products whose names we recognize.  How do we know about them? Moving away from brick and mortar stores, print and broadcast media, now we’ve moved into internet commerce.

Countless books are available to teach us how to master social media to get our goods or services before the public and enjoy huge success. Multi-Level Marketing, formerly pyramid schemes, hasn’t died.  It is enjoying a resurrection with new products.  Affiliate marketing is now on the rise. And, we continue to be lured into spending.  Each brand flashing and popping up via information obtained in algorithms, commands our attention. Clever programmers are developing workarounds to overwrite ad blockers software. We are being invaded.

What happens with invasions? People run and scatter.  Result? Separation and the replay of that old game of Us and Them, lack and fear, yours and mine magnified.  Pink Floyd sang so brilliantly about this: “Us, us, us and them, them, them…in in the end we’re only ordinary men…” I’ve found that one of the saddest brands for causing separation and even wars, are religious organizations.  Our God is better than your God.  Oh my!  Everywhere, we are being pulled apart rather than moved towards one another.

Obviously, I understand the need to best present our products and/or services so that we can prosper. Personally, I believe there IS enough for everyone and that we ultimately choose based on our own pyramid of needs and wants. If this little tome stands for anything, it is to say that let’s take offensive and separating language out of our sharing.  Let’s adapt a philosophy that believes that there is no scarcity and each of us will be drawn to right, for us, products and services.  And, perhaps we could enjoy more camaraderie with those in our similar industries that adapts a win/win attitude for all.

And, for heaven’s sake, quit “Branding” anything, animals included!  Develop logos that you love. Write copy that speaks to the truths of your essence and intention to serve through offering your product and/or service.  Refer to others when you can.  Reframe from stealing ideas from others and claiming them as yours. Share your wisdom when you are able to help others. Embrace humanity not corporatocracy. Purchase locally when you are able.  Return to the goodness of Me and You.  Focus on the planetary citizenry and the health of our small planet in making purchase choices. Contribute to the common good as you are able.

“A thorn defends the rose, harming only those who would steal the blossom.”  Chinese Proverb

What Our Bodies Are Telling Us

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

We get sick or have an injury at different times in our lives.  In youth, we often more physically resilient and easily overcome.  As decades cascade over the waters of our lives, recovery capacity changes.  Most of us, I believe, feel we are much younger than our biological ages.  We may look in the mirror in amazement at the aging person viewed yet are content that inside we know we are much younger than that silly reflection.  Denial has a way of eventually catching up with us.

Some of the illusion may be OK.  I’ve been told for years that I look younger than my true chronological age.  Flattering that can be.  Enough ‘cover-up’ and we’d all look a bit more youthful.  Heaven knows the media slathers us with potions promising eternal youth in massive doses daily.  Even science tells us our cells are being made new all the time.  We are encouraged to deny the very process of generation, degeneration and regeneration.  So my question is, why then are we aging?”

I posit this question as I’ve faced a Winter of My Discontent with repetitive injuries and illnesses. Not in my plan, I think.  How inconvenient!  As I am forced to cancel event after event and absent myself from the general populace, I lift my head and shout, “ WHY!?!”  What genetic trickster is at play in my life that is impeding my good health?

Now I can hear, “it’s all in your head!”  This is followed by, “stinkin thinkin.”  And, I get it that our minds DO indeed have an impact over our overall health.  Yet, physical plan in all the kingdoms that I have observed, includes birth, acceleration, decline and death.  Doesn’t seem to be any escape. So my greater question, is what our bodies are telling us.

My message of several years has been, “slow down”.  Now it appears to be” slow the f…… down.”  Seems to be the “Upside Your Big Head” Cosmic whack that is informing me that the days of adrenal overdrive are over. My inner drive for accomplishment was early on cemented in my consciousness by parents who wanted “A” report cards brought home.  Now those folks are long gone yet their message lingers. 

So what is the pain, loss of mobility and breathing issues about, I ask myself?  Metaphysically they represent certain truths.  As you might also ask yourself when confronted by lingering health issues.  When I’m willing to take time for the answers, they are plain.  Pain signifies that something isn’t resonating-place, people, circumstances, economics, etc. Mobility, easy peasy, slow down.  Breathing a bit more complicated but knowable; feeling contracted, not expansive.

Physically there are also answers, if I care to listen.  Pain, stress simply stated.  Mobility, long list of injuries from activities not suited to my physicality. Breathing, growing up in a world of heavy smokers.  The latter most affected my late sister and me.  Everyone in our world smoked.  Finally, the body, like any vehicle with a lot of miles on it, wears out.  Some parts are replaceable; some not.

Emotionally, the answers may come from more past release work.  I’ve for many years felt that those of us with problematic childhoods have dragged a hidden ball and chain through life.  At times, we’ve perhaps cut off part of the chain or shortened it, yet it’s still there.  Energetically we still hold past experiences.  Many are saying we also hold DNA of the ancestors.  Many tools are available for finally cutting through the chain and tossing the heavy ball back into the nothingness from which it came.   Soul Retrieval, Past Life Regression, Body Work, to name a few are currently available.  Not affordable?  Barter. I admitted to my youngest son recently, that I still have cords to cut.

The ultimate answers for me, and perhaps you, are to LISTEN.  Stop pushing the envelope, start giving yourself breathing room, quit trying to prove yourself and your worth, maybe just enjoy the process of being-in all states of living. Get help if necessary. Return to those things that make you happy.  Trust yourself to find your more perfect place to live. Before it is too late, embrace BEING and surrender DOING!  And, importantly, thank this body for the journey!

What concepts!  Am I ready?  Are you?  It’s a pretty short ride all told, wouldn’t it be better to enjoy it and quit trying to navigate rapids?  I’d declared that my goals in life are now Ease and Grace.  Must be time to manifest those wonderful intentions!!

"It's also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that's sitting here right now...with its aches and it's pleasures...is exactly what we need to be fully  human, fully awake, fully alive." Pema Chodron

"I finally realized that being grateful to my body was key to giving more love to myself." Oprah Winfrey

Home: The Lifelong Search

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

Home, a word that conjures up a wide range of emotions, plays such an important part in our lives. Steven Spielberg immortalized, "ET Phone home.”  Perhaps a lot of sensitive people, feeling like aliens in their family of origin, felt they needed to find where home existed for them.  Thomas Wolfe, on the other hand, declared that “You Can’t Go Home Again.”  Robert Frost opined that “Home is the place where, when you have to go, they have to take you in.” Dorothy, clicked her magical heels together and chanted, “There’s no place like home.” Other proclamations of alienation or longing from different perspectives suggest that this place called home, can be pretty elusive.

Some people who grew up in the 50’s may get an image of Father Knows Best, with the authoritative, yet benevolent, male head of the family.  Others may have a different image from a sitcom relating to family and the struggles that so many experience growing up.

As I entered the New Age in the 90’s, I very often heard people saying that they just wanted to go home. It was true for me.  I did not feel I belonged in the family I’d found myself in.  Going home, meant death to a few; to others the rescue spaceship coming to take them away to some alternative reality or Universe.  However couched, it was a search for some sense of belonging.  Some of us found alternative mothers and fathers and families of choice, not chance.  They, in part, served to give us a nuclear family sense and the missed lovingness.

Decades after my immersion, and then withdrawal from some of the more fantastic aspects of the New Age, I came to the realization that the cry for home was an exclamation about ending separation. As it turned out, that disconnection was not from others, rather me.  All the judgments about the characters in my play of life, and my disappointment in not feeling connected with them, really had nothing to do with them.  They were operating in their bubble of Universe, and I in mine.

Gayle Sheehy captured this realization poignantly in Passages as she lay on the floor avoiding flying bullets in Ireland:  "No one is with me. No One can keep me safe. There is no one who won't ever leave me along." Gayle realized that only she would be with her always.  As my own passages and times a flight have taught me, better find home within.  That didn't mean, I'd never be lonely; it meant, I'd learn to find comfort in being alone.

I've said it to students over the years, and I still offer it as wisdom, the greatest love affair of your life begins with you!  Best to find those things lovable and tolerable about yourself, or your entire life will be filled with *compensatory relationships.  Those are the supposed makeup for our perceived shortcomings that invite transitory or unhappy pairings.  Trust me, I know this to be true. We will never find that person who can make us feel completely at home until we create a beautiful inward dwelling.

As Spring rapidly approaches, perhaps it is a good time to do that new season cleaning and start removing the detritus of self-judgment, self-loathing, self-recrimination and start working on creating the most beautiful temple of home, that we are capable of.  This is a kind of "do unto yourself, as you do for others you valued above yourself." Only then, will you come home to you and roll out the welcome mat to your inner light and true magnificence.

Love thyself and you will have ample love to share in generosity with others without having to set Terms of Endearment.  The wave of love will then come routinely in to your inner shores, like the tide, and wash over you always..

“If you treated your neighbors like you treat yourself, they’d move!”  Jonathan at the Lighthouse in Black Mountain, NC advised me years ago.

"The lost home that we’re seeking is ourselves; it is the story we carry within our soul.” 

Michael Meade

*Awaken Your Inner Personas: Transform Your Life

Amari Breakthrough Institute

Bringing You Home, to You!

Endings and Beginnings

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

We again arrive at the Gregorian calendar closing of one year and the opening of another.  Though time and space may be illusions, in the material world we live by them.  Perhaps there is a purpose to have this structure of endings and beginnings.  Sometimes we find ourselves in untoward energy or outcomes when nothing seems to be going our way.  A definitive ending date coupled with a specific beginning date can give us hope of the cycle ending.

In the Northern Hemisphere, we also may mourn the compression of daylight as we approach the Winter Solstice.  Thus, we love to celebrate the opening up of light the next day, even by seconds.  These cycles of the sun are also part of our endings and beginnings.  Lyrics from an old song remind us that time is, indeed, slipping into the future.  And, with that future, may come renewed hope.

Though the holy/holidays can be stressful due to extra demands on our energy and time, they also ultimately give us a little spark of new possibilities.  That small ray of hope can often restart the course we are on and provide a sense of upliftment. Somewhere in the sparkling lights, that are all about, our imaginations are energized. We can be restored to a mental space wherein the earth darkness, and our own darkness, gets revved up with brightness. The increasing light after Solstice helps us get out of our cocoons of hibernation.

The New Year often finds us assessing the past and affirming for a different future.  That small spigot of hope, along with the returning light, inspires us to examine our lives and to perhaps be more definitive in recognizing new aspirations.  Resolutions may be written down.  Attention to purpose can become more compelling. We get a little Cosmic nudge.

I feel that to move with grace into the new, it is important to release the old.  Oh, not just the stuff we may label as ‘bad’ or ‘unfortunate,’ rather the contents of the old year.  Writing down the ups and downs helps us gain perspective.  One ceremony, that many new thought and other more progressive churches do, is a Burning Bowl Ceremony on New Year’s Eve.  Attendees write down the things they’d like to release and then consign them to flame.

Another tradition that I’ve done many years is the New Year’s Eve early morning world-wide meditation originated by John Randolph Price. This meditation happens world-wide at the same time.  Unfortunately for those of us on PDT, that is 4am in the morning, YIKES!  That said, the mediation is quite beautiful, powerful, and renewing.  It is a magical way to enter the New Year.  Instead of staying up until midnight 12/31, one gets up at 4:am on 12/31 and meditates for an hour or less. I’ve personally found this to be so renewing, that I choose to sacrifice sleep for inspiration and guidance.

May I suggest that you too choose some tradition, ritual, meditation as the New Year arrives to acknowledge and celebrate the inevitable endings and beginnings that we all experience in our lives. May your journey be so very blessed this year that you truly appreciate the wondrous experience of having a body on a small planet spinning in space.

 I share with you a couple of quotations that are inspiration for all of our endings and beginnings:

"No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! Tha first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun!  Look, it is the first page!  And, it is a beautiful one!"  C. JoyBell C.

And, another quote that also speaks to appreciating not only endings or beginnings but appreciation of the middle moment:

"Beginnings are scary; Endings are usually sad; but it's the middle that counts.  You need to remember that when you find yourself at the Beginning, just give Hope a chance to Float Up; and it Will!"  From the Movie, Hope Floats.

Pick up that Kaleidoscope, point it towards something bright, turn it and let the refraction of light take you into Magic! Then, just put one solid foot in front of the other, and step into your New Beginnings!  Happy New Year!  May you prosper and grow in amazing ways and experience Life with Love and Joy!