Moments

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

Moment is defined as “very brief portion of time, an instant.” Working with energy and ceremonial magic, I’ve often experienced the mystical in my spiritual life.  Compartmentalizing, as we humans often, do, I’ve perhaps glossed over that in my material life.  Yet a movie script or a book can remind me that an integration of both is imperative now with a certain ebbing of life.

Life is a collection of moments it is said. What if I could take all the moments of love I’ve experienced over three quarters of a century and string them together, would it reach the sky?  Would it bring down heaven that I’ve sought thinking permanence was the road to bliss?  Would it wrapped around me, give me the warmth to complete this century, even alone?

We are so very often seeking completions, stability, assuredness, solidity that I feel we often miss the beautiful moments that make up a life.  So much of our energy is focused on what was or what is to be, that we often miss the rapture of moments.  We are so adept at not being present, that we miss the true gift being offered.

How could I not treasure falling in love over a Kwakiutl Mask at a museum?  What bliss that dance and butterflies on that glorious Florida weekend? Did I not feel completely appreciated at the Atlanta airport when a traveling stranger placed his hands around my face and said, “You are beautiful?” The 2 hours spent with the artist poet in which a flirtation bolstered each of our needs to feel desirable.  The room full of sterling roses on my birthday at the beach and the osprey flying free.  The awe inspired moment of births of my children.  First crush; first love. All the passionate craziness of estrus adventures in exploring the body electric.

Gluttony seems to have overshadowed small treasures for me, always wanting more.  If it was good, then often I failed to truly appreciate it with that desire to concretize it.  I’m sure many can relate to that; our need to label or define things, to make them more enduring.  And, yet as I look back over my life, it was in moments that the magic was presented.  So very many moments that only now do I appreciate more fully as I surrender the need to know what is around the next bend.

I’ve come to realize the gift of having lived long enough to recognize the folly of the more youthful longings.  As time begins to involute, I’ve come to embrace little moments of love.  Hugs from grandchildren; beautiful skies; sun breaking through the clouds; smiles of friendship; spring unfolding in flowered glory; frost speckled on windows; light streaming through the clouds; rainbows splayed across the room; seagulls at the sea; poignant love stories; beautiful cinematography; simple heart-felt hellos; listening to other’s story’s and waking up each day.

I’m realizing that the gift of having lived so long, is coming to the recognition of the glory in moments. As time becomes more fleeting, there is no time for wasting precious seconds and minutes wishing for something else. Perhaps therein lies the grace of aging.  The body begins to leave as the soul awakens more magnificently. We learn how to express gratitude without a hidden agenda of want.  If we are wise, we move into the essence and authenticity of who we truly are and learn deep appreciation for the Now. Vivere in momento!  

"Thousands of years ago, somebody came up with a notion of impermanence.  Of the beauty and inevitability of change. I had a long time to consider the value of memory. And, the idea the just because something didn't last forever, doesn't mean its worth is diminished." 5 to 7 (the movie).

[53 Past Blogs are in my book "Shaman Talk" available in softcover and ebook on Amazon.com]