Who Do We Trust?

  

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

Erik Erikson believed that trust is developed from birth to 18 months. During this stage, the infant either comes to view other people and himself or herself as trustworthy or comes to develop a fundamental distrust of his or her environment. Trust is defined as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

As we move through infancy, early, middle, and later childhood into adulthood, trust may become an issue in our interrelationships. If the initial trust was broken in the earliest developmental stage it may take considerable therapy to learn trust.

Early broken trust leads, in shamanic shields terms, to a skewed South Shield.* The untrusting child carries that lack into each relationship in hopes that somehow magically, the other person will help them overcome their trust issues. In essence, they are looking for that compensatory partner. Of course, the rising dissolution of these relationships speaks to this issue.

When you may hear someone saying: “I just don’t trust anyone.” What they are truly saying is they don’t trust themselves sufficiently to even speak to trust of others. It’s a signal to any therapist or spiritual advisor that inner work is needed.

For an aware adult, that lack of trust may signal a need to develop and foster trusting themselves. Inner child work along with redirecting the North Shield and awakening the Nagual shields of West and East, can make a huge difference in healing basis distrust. This inner work was some of the most successful that I experienced with students and myself.

I was left with my grandparents from about 4 to 10 months. That helped me later understand why I was so attached to them. At the same time, the parental absence at such an early juncture, surely had its impact. There was no social media platform in those days to have us see missing persons in our lives. And written communications at such an early development stage didn’t have any meaning. I’m certain trust was broken.

Thus, I recognized my own need to develop adult trust. That can be done, with a lot of work. First one develops self-trust built on evidence that we can become reliable, truthful, and strong. As we assess and build more self-trust, we can then extend it to others.

At the same time, we need to attract trustworthy people and have some device for forgiving small lapses in trust. I’ve often said that compassion without discernment can be dangerous. That suggests that after we deal with the ‘me,’ we learn to deal with the ‘we,’ and then if we are most fortunate, we come to embracing the greater ‘us.’’ In actuality, that is part of our life work.

We may wish to develop markers of trust in new relationships. A European friend of mine observed how Americans almost instantly trust people rather than build trust over time. That instant trust and superficial bonding can lead to disappointments. In the romantic realm I once wrote a piece on 22 guides for Metaphysical Lovers to help people avoid the karmic macarena.

Discernment certainly comes into play if we are going to embrace and recognize another’s worth for inclusion in our emotional world. Our media often exposes us to such unrealistic pictures of romantic love that we may have incorporated delusional expectations about ourselves and other people’s worth.

The bottom line, is start building self-trust. Develop criteria for the types of people you’d value coming into your lives. Become trustworthy. Demand trustworthiness in all of your relationships. When that wounded inner child shows up, take some time to talk with him or her and see what old emotional issues are still unmet. Become the person that meets those needs and perhaps you will stop finding others and entrusting them with your basket of unmet emotional needs to foster.

Trust is elemental. Our world has shown us many, many examples of misplaced trust on all levels. Yet ultimately it is up to us to discern what is and is not working for our emotional stability. Start with you. Become more reliable, trustworthy, and strong. When we have that inherent trust in self, others, and life, our lives become the heaven we seek.

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” William Shakespeare

“Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” Stephen Covey

“Trust is built with consistency.” Lincoln Chafee

“He who does not trust enough, Will not be trusted.” Lao Tzu







*Awaken Your Inner Shields: Transform Your Life." by Amari Magdalena

We are Guests of Mother Nature

by Rev. Amari Magdalena

Watching the Yellowstone Dome rising and the ancient history of our small planet, I am again struck by just how fragile is our existence. Whether by force of climate, comets aimed for us, or nuclear attacks by agents opposed to our political agenda, we are temporary at best.

These outside venues for destruction play along with our internal body’s slow destruction. However, you measure it, or think about it, this drives home the need to appreciate each and every day we have in our body suits on planet Earth.

Generations of humankind has egotistically believed mankind to be superior to all sentient beings. What folly! Our dams are perhaps more precarious than those the beavers constructed on a much smaller and livable scale.

We cannot ignore Mother Nature’s message of our egregious maltreatment of our little Garden of Eden. Fires, droughts, raging tornadoes and hurricanes, weather disasters, earthquakes, and water in shorter and shorter supply. Some would argue that the planet has had several climates and changing patterns. This may be true yet there is damning evidence that our ignorance and abuse have greatly accelerated the demise.

Our planet’s axis is changing, our compasses evidence this shift. In the greater history of the planet the poles have indeed reversed. We’ve not contained our populations or considered just how many humans can live bountifully and peacefully on the perhaps intended capacity. Our cities are rampant with crime and homelessness. Politically we’ve failed to find common ground. We’ve decimated the planet and have some delusion that we can find another habitable planet to occupy. An awareness sad beyond words.

So many throw up their hands with” what can I do or this is an insurmountable issue.” I’m hearing way too many “can’t do’s” and damned few “can do’s.” I’m sure that the issue seems beyond the grasp of an individual and their efforts. Yet history has suggested that collective efforts with merely 15% of the population can make a difference. Gathering, this is doable.

Innovation, discovery, new energy resources, energy efficient appliances, pressure on elected “in bed” with lobbyists that need not be reelected. Media needs to be held over the coals for perpetrating myths and engendering fear. They need to start covering the doable things and successes. Our 3 branches of government need to be purged of any official who denies what is a real and present danger to our habitats. Education programs need to emphasize energy renewal and energy saving sources of power.

Like the platforms following the Great Depression, we need greater employment in those industries that are actually good for all sentient beings and provide education, new skills, and share the wealth of those companies with the greater public and not selected investors whose purpose is obscene profits.

Other, and an emphasis on inclusiveness, are imperative at this time. We have the intelligence, history of innovation and capacity for tackling huge problems, and the inherent talent in our populous to set a turn-key program for other countries to follow.

Our very fragility is at stake. If you love this glorious planet and all of its wonders and beauty, get involved. Be part of the solution. Mother Nature will reward you with repairs and restoration. And, don’t wait for Earth Day to start a program of personal commitment to reducing your footprint. Walk softly and consciously on every bit of earth that you can. Get busy saving Earth rather than throwing up your hands in defeat. And, accept that humans are not the only intelligence on the planet and develop respect for each kingdom: animal, plant, and mineral.

Human was derived from the mantra “hu” meaning spirit. The intention was to imbue a sense of being a material part of the earth with a spiritual connectiveness. Let’s bring that “Hu” back into our use of land and resources so that Mother will again bless us and not feel the need to evict us!

Like many indigenous people, perhaps begin and end each day in circle calling in the four Cardinal directions and offering profound thanks for each and every way that the planet has supported you and your ancestors.



“Environment is no one’s property to destroy; it’s everyone’s responsibility to protect.” – Mohith Agadi



“A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people.” ― Franklin D. Roosevelt



“What we are doing to the forests of the world is but a mirror reflection of what we are doing to ourselves and to one another.” ― Chris Maser



“It is horrifying that we have to fight our own government to save the environment.” 
― Ansel Adams


“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed. “ 
― Mahatma Gandhi

Invisibility

 Invisibility

by Rev. Amari Magdalena

I was on a conference call today and someone mentioned being invisible as we age. I attributed that, in part, to youth culture focus and emphasis on looking eternally young.

It reminded me, however, of shamanic invisibility. It represents stepping down our energy field, purposively. This can be a very helpful tool if one ever feels in danger. One must slow down their energy vibration so as to be unnoticed.

There is another type of invisibility that I've become aware of in the saging process. I believe that our bodies become less dense, energetically, as we age. This has nothing to do with actual weight, it's about energy. As world things may be of less importance, this may contribute to not needing to be so "up front" in situations. We might call this the completion of the "I", "We", and "Us" compartments of life.

When the completion of the "Us" is upon us, our emphasis shifts. We may be less involved in the human, material life. Our etheric body is thinning as the buffer between the material and soul level. We may become luminous with halos like those depicted in Yeshua and his disciples. This shift is quite magical and no doubt part of the shift to the fifth dimension.

There is a similar corridor in babies and young children. I've often found that infants see colors and auras. They are aware of the energetic field around others and respond accordingly. If the baby perceives an energetic compatibility, smiles are exchanged. If not, cries and alarm are often expressed rather loudly.

I also find that children in the age of magic, used to be birth to about five, often have imaginary friends. Part and parcel of being in both worlds. Unfortunately, in today's electronically connected world young children are exposed to the overriding culture at younger and younger ages so their magic dissipates earlier.

We enter this earth lifetime through the Eastern gateway. Concurrently, we exit this lifetime through the same portal. This then suggests to me, that when we are in the waning years of our natural life, we'd be preparing for the return and thus available for magic and energetic invisibility. We come from light through a tunnel and leave through a tunnel returning to Light.

I find comfort in this natural process of lightening up, recognizing that it is also preparation for returning to the stars from which we came. Invisibility can be one of the most important factors in achieving freedom from the dramas of life. I also suspect that it is indeed the fifth dimensional state of being that many strive for. Ultimately invisibility helps us move away from the time and space continuum.

Perhaps a perfect example of more being less!

"I don't know why people are so keen to put the details of their private life in public; they forget that invisibility is a super power." _ Banksy

“It was a source of both terror and comfort to me then that I often seemed invisible — incompletely and minimally existent, in fact. It seemed to me that I made no impact on the world, and that in exchange I was privileged to watch it unawares.” ― Marilynne Robinson

“(Idea for a ghost story: a woman gets old and falls out of time and realizes that she’s become invisible.)” ― Emily St. John Mandel,

“Do you become in visible?' 'No. I'm there, if you know how to look. I stand between the place you look at and the place you see. Behind what you expect to see. If you expect to see me, you do. I listen in places where no one expects me to be.” ― Patricia A. McKillip

Remembering Love

by Rev. Amari Magdalena

Writing through my life, I am remembering love, the romantic kind. Oh, the highs and lows of that commodity, often leaves us empty in ways that are perhaps never again fulfilled. Yet, the very essence of the love will always be in my heart. So, there is no real lasting loss.

Perhaps if people better understood that falling in love with someone is due to the wonderful reflection of us seen in the lover's eyes. I do know the more lasting love is the kind that happens when you finally see each other and learn to love the whole spectrum of the person-the good, the bad, the ugly etc.

Honestly, in my growing up, I never saw a truly loving relationship. My aunts on my mother's side all tolerated their husbands but did not respect them. My mother was the same though more covert and overt about her feelings. One grandfather seemed to have a loving, good relationship though the others seemed trapped. Even in my teens I was writing about being sucked into the conformity of marriage while mostly I wanted escape and adventure.

It's taken until my eighth decade to understand the effect of being pushed by some expectations and fantasies into believing that marriage was love everlasting. It may be in actuality yet not the romantic courtship of my imagining. I saw it as having to surrender too much of self and it took too many years to resurrect that hard fought self.

Admittedly, I did have two great loves that I still think of often. Looking back now, the first was a magnificent obsession; the second closer to true love. I'm so glad I had that experience and treasure the memories. I do recognize that they would never have worked out, in the end. And, happily they've both had long marriages since.

So much to learn in this life that I so value the time to recognize and understand this thing we call love. I've also learned about every kind of love and so appreciate that many, many ways to give and receive it are available.

Love, the very essence of our souls. I certainly hope you've all are or have experienced it. Eros, Filia, Ludus, Pragma, Agape, Philautia, and Storage.



Love, love, love. Do.





© 2022 Amari Magdalena

Goal Setting and Resolutions vs. Following the Energy

 

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

It’s that time of year again. New Year’s is now three days old. People are conjuring resolutions and setting their 1-year, 5-year, 10-year goals. A sense of accomplishment may follow the list making and temporary achievement pride swells. A month or two down the road, the list may become more of an irritant anchoring you in the wrong sea. Perhaps you were able to check off one or two items yet the balance goes wanting.



What is wrong with this picture? Experts in human behavior have suggested that goal-setting and/or resolutions may bring feelings of failure. Some sources have stated that goal-setting may have “some bad side effects produced by goal-setting programs include a rise in unethical behavior, over-focus on one area while neglecting other parts of the business, distorted risk preferences, corrosion of organizational culture, and reduced intrinsic motivation.”

For me the missing ingredient in goal-setting and resolutions is they don’t allow for dreaming, visioning, spontaneous thoughts, receiving messages through meditation, or living in the present. There is, for me, too much future in the process and not enough presence.

Years ago, a good friend of mine was vacillating between two businesses. She asked me for advice. What I told here was: “follow the energy.” In other words, which of the businesses seemed to be attracting attention, developing a following, giving her the most pleasure. Each action we experience in life has energy to support it or potentially tank it. The secret is paying attention and not simply plowing ahead to respond to ‘shoulds’ or outside influences who wish to direct your life because theirs is not moving in the way that pleases them.

We could also have pressure from relatives in the family. Recently I watched a movie that was like a dé·jà vu. The mother said to her daughter, “with all your intelligence why haven’t you lived up to your potential?” I’d heard that many, too many times from my own mother. I once was so disgusted that I sent her a resume with all of my accomplishments. That somewhat stemmed her complaints at least temporarily. Later, I forgot she valued money and the accumulation of it above all else, therefore monetary success was of predominant importance for her.

Here's the rub, we get this life to live. Maybe we reincarnate, maybe we don’t. To get the most out of our experience be it short or long, we benefit by being more present. I’m perfectly OK with wishes or imaginings. I know from experience that in the brainstorming stage, too much structure can cause a failure. Free thought and letting yourself imagine every scenario can lead to a real beginning of something new. That part of living is exciting and energizing.

Many people who have slogged their way through long education programs become depressed after the high of accomplishing the desired degree. The satisfaction is short-lived. Why? Because all of their focus on the many years it took to graduate, meant living in the future. Indigenous people do not have language for the past or future. They have the wisdom to greet each moment, day, etc. with gratitude.

Our Western culture thought that primitive. Look where that’s gotten us. Frayed, overworked, anxious, needing medications to calm ourselves. Too many people are depressed or drug dependent for a decent mood. Some people are so oppressed by economic realities they turn to violence to express their rage at a life not lived using their inherent gifts and talents.

If we are to experience a fulfilling life, work that we love, healthy relationships, etc. it is time we began to explore more circular thinking instead of the linear thinking that has a dead-end. We need to make a decision to LIVE our lives in the now, to dream, to imagine, to explore, to embrace our lives in a dynamic way. Only when we are able to fully embrace the NOW, can we fulfill our inherent gifts and passions.

I’ve often said this, and I’m not the only one, “when you get to the end of your life, hopefully you lived it for yourself and not for others.” One Life. Learn to pay attention to guidance and become aware of times to move forward and times to contemplate.

I’ve penned 10 books and have 4 in the hopper. I’m called to add to one or another yet am not obsessed to write every day. I find that I may receive a knowing or hear someone say something that sparks my creativity and then I can sit down and write from that knowing to my heart’s desire. I may feel I’d like to finish one or another by a certain time yet am not driven by that. It’s a possibility not a promise. And, magically, one day I may be called to complete one or another without any special demand or specific goal.

When I get bogged down with set goals, expectations, etc. my creativity suffers. Perhaps we can learn to live with joy knowing we are where we need to be, doing things that bring us pleasure, content with our lives, and allowing ourselves to experience magic and spontaneous bliss, each moment. Think about it.

“Live Today! Do not allow your spirit to be softened of your happiness to be limited by a day you cannot have back or a day that does not yet exist.” ― Steve Maraboli

“Every instant of our lives is essentially irreplaceable: you must know this in order to concentrate on life.”
― André Gide

“In a world myriad as ours, the gaze is a singular act: to look at something is to fill your whole life with it, if only briefly.” ― Ocean Vuong

Thoughts on Holidays

 

by Rev. Amari Magdalena

As of 10am this morning, I've already been inundated with holiday and black Friday ads in the hundreds on all of my hotmail, yahoo, and gmail accounts. It got me thinking about consumerism and lost purpose of the Festivals of Light, seasonal hibernation, and the going within period that winter presents.

Listening to the Eagles "Life in the Fast Lane" yet again, I am seeing more and more the one-way trip most of us are on that in no way supports our spirits. I'm also remembering a Christmas that my late, great friend, Jonell and I shared with homeless families in Seattle. We did the unthinkable in American culture. No football or other entertainment from air waves was shared. We actually played games and all decorated Christmas cookies. We did have small gifts for the family members yet the emphasis was on simply sharing a loving meal, good company, and hearing their stories. This prompted me to write what follows.

From Diwali in Fall through January cultures have presented their version of returning Light during times of growing darkness. All cultures had such celebrations. Gatherings of family and community marked these special days. Emphasis was on collective experience and no self-gratification of receipt.

What if we restored Holy Days and eschewed Holidays? What if we lite candles, engaged in deep meditation, gifted our time or needed food instead of being guilt tripped into supporting the economy with gifts many cannot afford to give? What if we sat in silence for a while sending healing and peace thoughts to every corner of the planet and all sentient beings? What if we had family gatherings without TV and sports but activities that engaged everyone? What if we wrote letters and sent cards to people alone and far away? What if we honored humanity above consumerism?

Could we change the tenor and tempo of a culture that eats people up and spits them out without a thought of kindness, compassion, caring, or recognition that Oneness means like the word Namaste, I see the essential being in you and honor it? Could we begin to grasp what indigenous peoples have know since time out of mind, that ALL sentient beings are possessed of the same vital essence and are due our respect and honor?

What if? Imagine the light illumining our entire planet.

“The Joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing each other’s loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of the holidays.” –

W. C. Jones

 Thoughts On Turning 81 Today

by Rev. Amari Magdalena

Last year at 80 I was in the Emergency Room of Mountain View Hospital awaiting a room through the night.

As I reflect back, I grew up in a time of more innocence and fewer freedoms for women and people of color. We now live in a time of lost innocence and great freedoms though some are being eroded by misguided information and desire to return to other times.

It seems in the 60’s we threw out the proverbial baby with the bath water and didn’t think about some things that created a much nicer society with more compassion and caring for our neighbors and residents of the world.

Looking back, I have some memories that stick out. When I was around 8 or 9 my mother threw a birthday party for me replete with games. I won most of them and was a bit daunted that mom told me they were for the guests not me!

In childhood we had a friend with a small airplane so first up in the air flights were with them. Around 12 I took my first big plane, though prop, from Chicago to Detroit and that was quite the thrill. Last airplane ride was one of my fiancé’s who was an aerial photographer. We flew through some clouds and I opened the small window and stuck my hand in the clouds. What a thrill. Can’t imagine many people have done that.

We moved a lot because of my dad’s jobs throughout the Midwest. In Iowa we had snow piled higher than me. Everywhere there were lakes to swim in. Country homes and farms were prevalent. Burma Shave had plastered the roads with a bit of silliness. We counted cows or different state license plates to avert boredom. When McDonald’s came, we longed for the 15 cents hamburgers. At ice cream shops you could get 3 scoops for $.15. The candy stores near schools had many treats for a nickel or dime.

We had lots of hand-me-downs from older cousins. Sometimes that was great except for a few that had no taste in clothes. No big malls. One-car families. No on-line shopping. No cell phones. Party lines for many phone connections. We were generally safe and did not receive all the warnings that children are now subject too. We marauded from daylight to dusk in the farm areas of our relatives and no one wondered what we were up to as any neighbor would help if we had a bee sting or some accident. We never locked our doors unless going away for a length of time. Trust was almost a given in the Midwest.

Growing up every where we lived there was family. We had many, many gatherings and took vacations with my father’s sister and her tribe. We exchanged kids many times in the summer as we were often better behaved at relative’s than home. We settled in a suburb of Detroit and I so missed our move and making new friends. It was primarily a blue-collar place so my dad was king pin with a shirt, tie, suit, and hat. At 16 I was crowned the 4th of July Beauty Queen and rode in the parade and got a modeling scholarship. Too bad I was about ½ inch too short for New York but soon tired of mindless primping.

Got married at 20 on my birthday, not a great time to marry, too young and too influenced by the honored MRS. degree vs. getting the education I wanted. By 33, I wanted freedom and joined the 2nd Women’s Movement and was very active. Got out of that marriage and engaged in a 10 years “domestic partnership” with a person of another race and socio/economic background. Between the pairings I had 4 children. Left that and made-up time to have a postponed childhood and fun for a number of years. 3rd marriage of 4 (four) months was a rather short-lived mistake and have been single ever since.

Started a, to be, women’s international organization, sex education hotline, radio show, tv interviews started an international spiritual institute and now a non-profit for spiritual guidance and lived all over the place. The early pack up and move must have gotten to me. Still have the itch, though I love Las Cruces, but tamping it down as I'm not as mobile now. Without a proper bachelorette degree, I was a CFO, Corporate Secretary, Comptroller, Marketing & Advertising Consultant, Project Manager, Wedding Officiant, Instructor in Colleges, Entrepreneur, Author of 10 Books, Co-Founder of a Women’s Center at a University, and a few other jobs to make ends meet. All the other kids in the family were sent to college and what courses I picked up were mostly upper division and just couldn’t see the use of going back to get the needed 101-201’s. Got a Master’s Degree through my ministry and that sufficed.

Everywhere I lived as an adult, I’ve had wonderful experiences and made friends some of whom I’m still in touch with. Made one true life-long best friend who passed in 2010. And, lots of friends now passed or still living across the country. Loss becomes more and more and years rolls by. The sad state of affairs is that we spend gazillions to elect questionable leadership when all that money could be used to conquer disease and address mental health.

Definitely have had a lot of health challenges in the past year though seem to be turning corner with my new dietary regimen. Life is different for sure though still many rewards and lots of sunshine. Celebrated 1 year since my open-heart surgery in late October. Now focusing on my non-profit and enjoying the days. As Paul Newman said after 80, every day is a gift.

We are in such a hurry to grow up when we are young and never quite prepare with the challenges that come as these old cars wear down. Beam me up Scottie is yet a reality. I often told my four children that we have a very SHORT time to be children and a LONG time to be responsible adults! I unfortunately do not see my 9 grandchildren often enough so thank heavens for smart phones with apps to see them.

Do I have wisdom to share? Should I be so foolish as to offer it? Engage your life! Maybe we go around and reincarnation is real. Or maybe this is a one-shot deal. Keep dynamic, not static though it may seem more comfortable. As Woody Allen posited in Hannah in Her Sisters, maybe go around only once, maybe there is no god, but wouldn’t you want to enjoy the experience? YES, to that! And, when you get to the end of this life, wouldn’t you want to say that you enjoyed it and didn’t live it for someone else?