Egoic Leadership

 By Rev. Amari Magdalena

We’ve got a problem.  There’s trouble in river city and it begins with a capital T! While it does take a fair amount of ego to run for prominent office, it is a double- edged sword. Once ensconced, it is time to put that ole nemesis ego to rest and reach in for that heart brain.  Rulers must have heart or otherwise they may make massive mistakes in reaching the very public who elected them.

A ruler must above all have a huge degree of compassion.  Self, is a word that for them needs to be held in abeyance, in any list of true leadership qualities. The heart-centered leader is able to see all sides of dilemmas, relate to a diverse group of the citizenry, get in touch with feelings and relate them to the people being served, recognizes that leadership is not a contest but a high appointment of service. S/he looks for guidance from those they surround themselves.  They listen and quiet the braggadocios behavior that some in office display.

True leaders are also aware of the global impact of their decisions. Not only do they reach across the aisle politically, they also include other leaders. Peace is more important to them than further engagement in wars of others. They admire true guidance and not dictators whose strength comes of absolute rule over subjects, not inclusive. True leaders absolutely know the difference between exclusive objectives and inclusive direction.

Another aspect of leadership is determined by the people who admire and vote for them.  That is, they value each and every constituent and become aware of the needs of all people on the economic spectrum. They tax fairly to divide the monies properly for the general good.

Even a further trait is not having to have every bill signed viewed as a photo opportunity. Also surrounding themselves with voluminous flags does not a patriot make. Bob Dylan captured that in lyrics from What’s a Sweetheart Like You: “Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings, steal a little and they throw you in jail; steal a lot and they make you King.”

Another modern concern for true leaders, is the preservation of the Earth.  They do not bend to monied interests who continue to pollute the airways. They’ve a measured response to the important prospect of preserving the Earth and all of the ways that support her. They also look for new inventive ways to address climate change and to support newly developing industries devoted to Earth preservation.  Sometimes it is time to embrace “off with the old; on with the new.” They know this and are not afraid to address it and help the populace become equally enthused with new prospects and/or projects.

Finally, a true leader eschews cult like behavior from those who support and help elect them. They know that their task is to serve from humility and not from adoration of minions. True heart-based leaders know that they are servants and have been elevated to high office to become one of the greatest servants in history.  The final aspect of true leadership is to be a visionary seeing all of the possibilities for a great future involving all of the people by capturing their imagination and a willingness to implement.

"Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other" — John F. Kennedy

“A leader takes people where they want to go.  A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to be.” — Rosalynn Carter

“The very essence of leadership is that you have to have a vision. You can’t blow an uncertain trumpet.” — Theodore M. Hesburgh

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” — John Quincy Adams

“Wise leaders generally have wise counselors because it takes a wise person themselves to distinguish them.”  — Diogenes of Sinope

“A leader. Is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble to out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from behind.” — Nelson Mandela

“To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Pursuit of Happiness

 By Rev. Amari Magdalena

Life, liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness is in the second paragraph of the first article in the Declaration of Independence.  The great American promise. Absolutely a promise worth embracing in our dream of the greater good.  Yet, and there it is the proverbial, yet, we as a nation are not very happy. In fact, We the People are 23^rd in worldwide ranking of happiness. Oh my, we’re not number one in something?  Shock of all shocks.

 And that document in 1776 failed to mention that those same superlative words applied to everyone, and not simply the white conquistadors, of a nation heretofore made up of brown/red people. Now if being usurped from your own lands doesn’t cause a ripple or two, I’d be amazed. So, truth be told, we started in the glory of overcoming a domineering king while ignoring our own confiscation of property of others we considered inferior.

 On this Independence Day remembrance, it is time for that hard look.  In my life I often refer to it as the “come to Jesus” moment.  A big reality check on the difference between promise and reality. It is the time for the congruity checkup. Are we what we say we are or have we fallen away. It is also past time to make amends in every possible way of those we judged and chose to dominate.

 In the meantime, in our little bubbles of individuality and delusion, we are too often feeling unfulfilled, unhappy, depressed, desperate, and angry. No wonder. There is the more hidden shame of how our country was founded and the nagging truth of debt to those we chose to enslave.

 On top of that, our now integrated media advertisements keep promising happiness if we use this or that product, take this or that pill, drink this or that alcoholic drink (hey, they don’t call it spirits for nothing), engage in this or that sport, take this or that exotic vacations, are surrounded by integrated people always laughing and having fun, keep eternally youthful by using this or that product, and the list goes on. Whew! No wonder we often feel we missed the mark.

As we approach yet another deciding political contest, we are more divided than perhaps even at the civil war. Some of us can’t even talk to our neighbors or some family over this great divide that faces us. We are failing to recognize the very things that once united us.  The similarities that each and every one of us hold dear, that elusive pursuit of happiness!

 Tell me, in truth, that every one of our citizens doesn’t want to be loved, appreciated, held in regard for our innate special talent. Doesn’t each citizen of what was the greatest country in the world, want and deserve, good housing, food on the table, a good measure of dignity, quality education for themselves and their children, safety from crime (we lead the pack of first world nations for crime), access to rejuvenating nature, acceptance without prejudice, pride in what we as a nation and as an individuals can accomplish? Aren’t those our common goals and needs?  Or have I missed something??

 Do you remember some of the lyrics of one of our patriotic songs?

 “America, America may God thy gold refine

'Til all success be nobleness

And every gain divined.

 God shed his grace on thee

And crown thy good

With brotherhood,

From sea to shining sea.”

Glorious lyrics from America the Beautiful. Where are we at this very 4^th of July remembrance? I ask, no beg, each of you to remember the promises and on this special day actually intend that the second paragraph of the first article in the Declaration of Independence be revisited in each and every heart and soul. It is past time to pick up the baton of unity, to quell anger and rage, to move beyond our petty differences, to embrace each and every person as worthy of dignity, and value and restore the principals of democracy. It is way past time to also stop these ridiculous pigment prejudices. The red in our flag represents the red blood that all of us possess. The white is for purity and the blue representing the vast sky we all can enjoy.

 If we could collectively do this, we would certainly bring that illusive happiness to our parties of celebration today and perhaps in a future that we desire for each and every citizen.

 

"The Constitution only guarantees you the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself" -Benjamin Franklin

 

"Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence" -Aristotle

“Don’t just talk that talk, walk it and go forward. Also, the walk didn’t have to be long strides; baby steps counted too. Go forward.” -From the Movie: The Pursuit of Happiness with Will Smith

"…it is the great parent of science & of virtue: and that a nation will be great in both, always in proportion as it is free." "our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost." -Thomas Jefferson

"I do not think the measure of a civilization is how tall its buildings of concrete are, but rather how well its people have learned to relate to their environment and fellow man."

- Sun Bear, Chippewa

"And so, the world watches America—the only great power in history made up of people from every corner of the planet, comprising every race and faith and cultural practice—to see if our experiment in democracy can work. To see if we can do what no other nation has ever done. To see if we can actually live up to the meaning of our cree

Loneliness

 by Amari Magdalena

Loneliness in the 21st century has become endemic. Covid certainly played a role yet separation has grown. Most affected are 18–24-year-olds and people 65 and over. Isolation is the partner of loneliness and they are causing depression, anxiety, and psychological disturbance for many.

What is Loneliness? Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one's desires for social connection and actual experiences of it. It is also described as: an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation. The bottom line is that too many of us experience isolation. Certainly, Covid created a lot of isolation for people living alone. The very structures of many of our dwellings, also contribute. Many of us live in apartments without social offerings or in our small separate boxes. Add to that an increase in violence in a city that heretofore had little, and you have fear. An unstable political situation only exacerbates the feelings.

Many of us grew up with family nearby. For me, even though we moved a lot, everywhere we lived, there was family. We had many gatherings with family. Our neighborhood, in the time of wives at home, had many the coffee klatch. There was almost always someone we could call on in an emergency or simply for company.

That is true no more. Many of us left our families and headed west. The tenor of many of the larger cities in the west, was such that we became more fearful. Trust was a factor with a lot of schemes and charlatans playing on our naivety. The burbs for a while provided some of the old klatch gatherings yet wives returning to the workforce or college in the 70’s women’s movement changed that also. All of these factors contributed to a cultural evolution and ultimately, we ended up with more isolation.

One symptom of that is the cyber dating phenomenon. Religious practices where many had socialized, experienced a fall out in attendance. The usual meeting places and/or family gatherings became few and far between. Many of us moved even more having to establish ourselves from scratch, again and again.

Meetups developed to fill some of the gap yet, like all organizations, they didn’t always last due to human foibles and that old nemesis, ego. Another group of us developed physical limitations which further exacerbated spending huge junks of our lives, alone. We couldn’t do the things that others were doing. Others experienced economic downturn which severely limited our spending on leisure activities.

So many factors in 2024 have caused too many people to feel loneliness. Awareness and commitment to some type of involvement may help overcome the feelings. Getting out more even to the store and talking with people may ease the untoward feelings. Making a huge effort to find some opportunities to socialize with like-minded people is another avenue. For seniors, joining a senior community, may after we get over accepting, that we too are ‘old’ people. Picking up the telephone and connecting with old friends may help. Bottom line, all of this requires some effort.

There have been some efforts to house older and younger people. This may be yet another avenue for easing feelings of loneliness. If you have a hobby, finding other people who enjoy it, may bring opportunities to be with people. Seeking counseling if you’ve gotten to the place of feeling depressed. Seeing if your city has a directory with organizations that may be of interest can help.

And, then there is technology. Yet another factor. It is forcing us to carry our smart phones around even in the house with sites that send you a code for access. It consumes way too many hours of our lives that we might have spent with other people. It’s lightning-fast changes often leaving us feeling inadequate and alone. Kids are spending more time inside than out. Adults may be getting depressed in an effort to keep up.

Bottom line, is once you realize that you are lonely, it is important to do something about it. For me, I know that if I spend too much time alone, I have to be the boot in my butt that says, “get out there.” No one is coming to you, if they don’t know where you live. Volunteer. Put on some glad rags, and get out of the house. Accept that this is a different time and you need new tools to cope. Also commit to learning to enjoy and love yourself. Fill in your circle.

“Find company within yourself and you’ll never spend a day alone.” -Connor Chalfant

“We are living in dystopia, in a world that is dominated by technology and disconnect, alienation and dysfunction.” -Steven Wilson

“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they're big, flashing signs that something needs to change.” -Gretchen Rubin

“We can all fight against loneliness by engaging in random acts of kindness.” -Gail Honeyman

“We have all known the long loneliness, and we have found the answer in community.” – Dorothy Day

Entering the Void at Summer Solstice

 

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

Polarities of their nature bespeak irony.  And so it is with our seasonal celebrations.  At the “High Noon” of summer light as we extol the virtues of the maximum hours of daylight, we turn the corner into the void and begin the process of contraction.    From Winter Solstice to Summer Solstice, we are in a phase of expansion, seeding and growing our hopes and dreams.  From June 21^st until December 21^st, we begin to draw our energies within, ever so slowly to celebrate harvests and then release.

 Both our sun and moon express four distinct phases, which parallel one another nicely.  While the moon completes each phase in 29 days, 12 hours, 44 minutes, the sun’s phases are more protracted taking our calendar year to complete.  In earth-based traditions throughout the world sun and moon celebrations served as calendars or markers for the passage of time.

 June 21^st decrees the celebration of the North (the polar opposite of the South that we are experiencing).  Along with the summer solstice, it is also near Father’s Day marking the maximum influence of the principal we know as masculine.  While our Spring and Fall Equinox represent balance, the solstices symbolize extreme.  Solstices are more “Tonal” (tonal being ordinary reality); equinox’ are “Nagual” (extraordinary with the availability of magic).  The summer solstice then is a time of excessive immersion into the material world (Tonal).

 Given the extremes and the irony of our celebration of the North in summer and the South in winter, both celebrations are about light; more of it and less of it.  As we acknowledge the longest day of the year with the highest point of the sun, let us remember to take advantage of all that is revealed in the blazing light. 

 Summer Solstice in ancient times was a daylong celebration and observation in northern most climes was 24-hours and 12-hours in the lower latitudes.  In total light a circle was set with many burning candles lit.  A large bonfire was constructed nearby.  Singing, dancing, chanting and/or drumming began.  Vigilance was kept throughout the night until dawn, when the candles and fires were extinguished. 

 The summer solstice may then be a time to give oneself permission to totally immerse into the masculine principal yet acknowledging the winter solstice conception that led to this luxurious fertility.  Set your ceremonial circle with objects of light and representation of the golden, orange, red colors of the sun’s brilliance.  Acknowledge fire for its power of transformation.  Strew the altar with seasonal flowers and ripening berries.  Feast and surrender to the fire within.  Engage in fire ceremonies.  Trance dance.  Tone.  Make joyful noises with percussion and flute.  Invoke Archangel Michael or the Celtic god Lugh (pronounced Looch), God of light, warmth and inspiration.  Sing the praises of the sun in all its representations including the sun ship of the Christ energies.  And slowly but surely, put out each candle in tribute to the returning darkness and the great mystery of the void.  Honor this phase of growth, trust and love and “Coming into Being.”

"A single sunbeam is enough to drive away  many shadows." St. Francis of Assisi

Invalidation

 

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

 

In the world of cyber communication, lacking the in-person reading of intent, we may often feel invalidated. The meaning of the word used in communication is: “the process of denying, rejecting or dismissing someone's feelings. Invalidation sends the message that a person's subjective emotional experience is inaccurate, insignificant, and/or unacceptable.” Sounds pretty harash and rendering a complete denial of another’s emotional sharing.

On the surface, of course, most of us would not want to be found guilty of doing such a thing. Yet, we do it more than is good for having the recipient feel heard. The problem, listening. As a culture, we are failing in the listening department on more occasions than leads to comfort with others in social intercourse. Most of us are pretty guilty of this, certainly without malintent.

Indigenous cultures used different tools for communication. Some had such clarity of thought, they could telepath with others in the tribe; verbal communication was not always necessary. Others used tools like the talking stick and answering feather which encouraged others to listen to the speaker rather than be preparing their immediate response.

Years ago, I introduced the talking stick to a group of fairly diverse people whose similarity was to share a degree of spiritual experiences in their lives, including paranormal occurrences. To my surprise, the group in the main completely rebelled against the concept. They didn’t want to listen preferring to either debate, invalidate, or obfuscate. I found that numbingly aberrant yet was not surprised.

In a cultural setting of competition, rather than cooperation, there is always a tangible quest for one upmanship. Being Number One is more important than actually supporting group consensus and team building.

As we now see daily the destruction of an emphasis on competition, global greed, dismissive politics on earth preservation and freedom of rights of each person’s choice as it relates to their body, it is not surprising. At the same time, we are certainly witnessing the demise of yet another Empire. All previous ones have devolved and fallen yet humankind continues on personal and global paths of destruction.

Given the innate intelligence of humankind, it is then disturbing that history continues to repeat itself over and over and over again. Real communication goes wanting. Relationship building meets its demise. We are not communicating with one another; we are engaging in monologues and duologues. We are collectively behaving like many of the animals that we thought ourselves superior to.

Can this be altered or amened? Yes, it can with the big IF, we choose to individually and collectively effect a change. We can start listening without composing our answers. We can ask ourselves what is the person sharing with us? Are they asking for advice? Are they seeking solutions from us? Are they simply venting and needing validation for their feelings? Can we sit in silence and hold space? Can we shut up??

Some spiritual traditions require periods of complete silence as a way of going further within. For many it’s like doing hard time in isolation and almost crippling. Yet, the benefit may long outweigh the personal needs of the self in deference to the greater good of the universal whole.

Perhaps next time you hear or read of someone simply sharing their experience, you will choose to simply listen and say, “I hear you” or whatever is appropriate to the feelings being expressed. In cyber space, you could send a heart or care symbol and let the other know you heard them without pontificating or rendering solutions not asked for. You could be silently reverent and say to the Universe, “may peace prevail for the good of this individual and humankind.”

“…validation between partners is the communication of understanding and acceptance.” – Alan E. Fruzzetti

“Our desire for sympathy and attention is another major reason we complain. Think about the things you complain about. What are you looking for when you share? I would bet that a lot of the time it’s validation like, “Yeah, that is annoying,”” – Whitney Goodman

“Sometimes, this can be as simple as paying attention and making good eye contact and nodding, or saying “uh-huh” or “right” or “okay.” At other times, validating requires a more thorough acknowledgment of the experience, such as “I know you are really disappointed” or “you look really sad.”” – Alan E. Fruzzetti

“You can disagree with absolutely everything someone, is saying, but you can still validate them.”–James W. Williams.

Does The Universe Care for or about Us?

 

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

Yesterday I posted a word for consideration: Pronoia. Its definition is that “The Universe conspires for my Joy and Abundance.” Nice thought, no? Yet a few people took exception recalling devastating things that the Universe had delivered to them over their lifetimes.

It got me thinking about the times, in my own life, when The Universe most definitely was not conspiring in my favor, or so it seemed. One of the philosophies that I’ve long admired is the Tao. In this belief system one learns to not weight oppositional forces in our lives differently. This belief allows us to surf the waves of our lives in a more even way. We will have some grand things in this lifetime and some pretty challenging things that we may view as soul disrupting. By accepting these oppositional forces, we may be more at peace.

I do not deny that many of us are delivered some pretty devastating things in our lives. There is no denying that. It may also appear that some people receive more than their fare share of those events. Death of a child is certainly at the top of the list. A whole list of tragedies can easily be complied.

Yet, in a long-life review, I believe we also become aware of great graces afforded us. This is, I suppose, a count your blessings scenario. Too often, we forgot that count and allow the bleak occurrences to cast shadow over the better things.

The belief of greater good, allowing for the not so good, can afford us to better appreciate the general balance that life affords us. That is, if we notice. It can also gift us contentment. Contentment gives us an overall view of greater good without the transient, and often prioritized, desire for happiness.

If people were to study my life of 80+ years, they would find a whole laundry list of the ‘not so good’ things that happened. They’d discover that much of my adult life has been a financial struggle. Uncovered would be unexpected deaths, suicide, murder, molestation, mental and physical abuse. They could easily conclude that The Universe did not bring me Joy and Abundance. And, of course, that would bolster their predominant belief about pronoia.

For many years, I too, allowed the negative to rule my life. On further study, I came to adapt a different view, a perspective that gave me greater peace. I learned that I’ve had a fantastic life filled with good surprises, seeming last minute positive interventions, overall goodness, great people, amazing places to visit, abundance of innate talents, etc. In total sum of nine decades, The Universe has conspired for my highest and best good.

Some would say, what about all of the health challenges you’ve experienced in the past 1 ½ years and continue to deal with daily? What about your precarious economic situation? Yup, those have been doozies, no question. Yet the offsets have been human kindness, friends who are supportive, unexpected monies forthcoming, love, and great mental/emotional health. In balance, I can attest that The Universe has indeed delivered more Joy and Abundance than not. Mine has been simply to recognize it and appreciate it.

I would much rather embrace an overall belief in goodness than await the dark side of random deliverance of the negative. It would also be my sincere hope, that many of us can come to the belief that The Universe does give the proverbial damn about us. I would wish that philosophy for anyone wanting to experience a fuller, affirming, and gloriously abundant life!

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it--always.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

“A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special.”
― Nelson Mandela

“A good life is a collection of happy moments.” ― Denis Waitley

Death

by Rev. Amari Magdalena



A subject few people want to talk about, Death. It’s a hush-hush deal that many wish to never address though it, and taxes, are declared to be inevitable.

Aging, illness, and infirmity certainly may cause us to consider an appearance of the grim reaper. For some of us having gone through the demise of our parents, we may be more aware of the obligations and expectations created by a family death. Some people choose to bury their heads and magically keep death at the door.

My own journey of the past year and a half has made me hyper aware of my end date approaching. Depending on who you talk with, I’ll be here for a few more years or could go out like a candle in the wind from heart complications. News like this makes one “listen up.” And, I have.

Our culture is pretty uncomfortable with this subject. As a child, we were never allowed to attend any funerals as grandparents and others passed. This was, in part, due to my mother’s experience of having to kiss her dead mother in the casket at 6 years old. Mother had a deep fear of death. Ultimately this was a great disservice to her children.

The first funeral I attended was for a friend’s whose husband was killed in an auto accident. I was around 21 at the time and found the whole experience shocking. Ultimately, I found it part of my shamanic path to be present at births and deaths. As a minister I’ve been asked to give last rights, help people cross over, and eulogize the deceased.

My mother later shared with me that her Slavic half-sisters celebrated death and mourned births. That made some sense to me as their beliefs were that life has its share of challenges and the new born is entering this plane to experience all of the vagaries of life while death is freeing and we return to the Oneness. They passed a large basin with water and a towel and each person in the circle washed their hands of death and continued passing it around. I don’t know if they bathed the deceased though that may have been appropriate in that time and space. A nicety that might be instituted were we not so fearful of being around the dead person.

The most challenging funeral was for my 3-year-old grandson in Mexico. Death of a child defies the natural order of things and quashes all of our dreams and desires for a full life. It is so out-of-order. The Mexican way of death, we the American family, were not prepared for. Embalming is not done. One has to witness the deceased changing colors and find some way to deal with all of the smelly flowers covering physical demise. The actual burial is right in front of the pile of dirt that will be unceremoniously bulldozed over the casket at the end of the ceremony. The shock of it all was eased some by the Sponge Bob Balloon that released rose higher and higher and higher in the sky, turning at the end as if to say goodbye.

At my middle sister’s funeral, I was able to do the commending of spirit shortly before she passed. They whisked her away to a funeral home in downtown Thornbury, Bristol England. After a day or two, I said to my mother, I’m going to go visit her. You are welcome to come with me. She decided, in spite of her natural hesitation, to do that with me. We talked with my sister and I feel it helped my mother with the passing. It provided last words and wishes for the next life. We even witnessed both a cathedral filled to capacity in celebration of her life and then the final movement of the casket into the crematory. There was a full sense of completion there.

People who have experienced an NDE (near death experience) have reported experiences of great light and perhaps seeing loved ones on the other side. Personally, I have gone through this and recognize that seeing translucent bodies of our departed, may be part of the process of letting go of the body suit. The bright light is comforting and inviting. What is on the other side? We will surely discover? Perhaps if we were to choose the new Natural Burial method of being wrapped and interred in dirt so that natural decomposition occurs, we may indeed return in another form like a flower.

We’ve only to look at nature and the seasons of seed, growth, flower, and death to know that absolutely nothing is permanent on this plane of existence. Perhaps we can gather courage from the renewal cycles and some intention that a greater consciousness state is our next expression. On the other hand, comfort with death may help us choose to live life to the fullest in every way without the shroud of death hampering our spirit.

” Nothing endures but change, and accepting this has the potential to transform the dread of dying into joyful living."

H.E. Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.”
― Isaac Asimov

“It is best as one grows older to strip oneself of possessions, to shed oneself downward like a tree, to be almost wholly earth before one dies.”
― Sylvia Townsend Warner, Lolly Willowes

“That's the secret. If you always make sure you're exactly the person you hoped to be, if you always make sure you know only the very best people, then you won't care if you die tomorrow.”
― Carol Rifka Brunt, Tell the Wolves I'm Home

“Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forget life, to be at peace.” – Oscar Wilde

“Those we love are always alive if we keep them alive in our hearts.” – Carson McCullers