Goal Setting and Resolutions vs. Following the Energy

 

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

It’s that time of year again. New Year’s is now three days old. People are conjuring resolutions and setting their 1-year, 5-year, 10-year goals. A sense of accomplishment may follow the list making and temporary achievement pride swells. A month or two down the road, the list may become more of an irritant anchoring you in the wrong sea. Perhaps you were able to check off one or two items yet the balance goes wanting.



What is wrong with this picture? Experts in human behavior have suggested that goal-setting and/or resolutions may bring feelings of failure. Some sources have stated that goal-setting may have “some bad side effects produced by goal-setting programs include a rise in unethical behavior, over-focus on one area while neglecting other parts of the business, distorted risk preferences, corrosion of organizational culture, and reduced intrinsic motivation.”

For me the missing ingredient in goal-setting and resolutions is they don’t allow for dreaming, visioning, spontaneous thoughts, receiving messages through meditation, or living in the present. There is, for me, too much future in the process and not enough presence.

Years ago, a good friend of mine was vacillating between two businesses. She asked me for advice. What I told here was: “follow the energy.” In other words, which of the businesses seemed to be attracting attention, developing a following, giving her the most pleasure. Each action we experience in life has energy to support it or potentially tank it. The secret is paying attention and not simply plowing ahead to respond to ‘shoulds’ or outside influences who wish to direct your life because theirs is not moving in the way that pleases them.

We could also have pressure from relatives in the family. Recently I watched a movie that was like a dé·jà vu. The mother said to her daughter, “with all your intelligence why haven’t you lived up to your potential?” I’d heard that many, too many times from my own mother. I once was so disgusted that I sent her a resume with all of my accomplishments. That somewhat stemmed her complaints at least temporarily. Later, I forgot she valued money and the accumulation of it above all else, therefore monetary success was of predominant importance for her.

Here's the rub, we get this life to live. Maybe we reincarnate, maybe we don’t. To get the most out of our experience be it short or long, we benefit by being more present. I’m perfectly OK with wishes or imaginings. I know from experience that in the brainstorming stage, too much structure can cause a failure. Free thought and letting yourself imagine every scenario can lead to a real beginning of something new. That part of living is exciting and energizing.

Many people who have slogged their way through long education programs become depressed after the high of accomplishing the desired degree. The satisfaction is short-lived. Why? Because all of their focus on the many years it took to graduate, meant living in the future. Indigenous people do not have language for the past or future. They have the wisdom to greet each moment, day, etc. with gratitude.

Our Western culture thought that primitive. Look where that’s gotten us. Frayed, overworked, anxious, needing medications to calm ourselves. Too many people are depressed or drug dependent for a decent mood. Some people are so oppressed by economic realities they turn to violence to express their rage at a life not lived using their inherent gifts and talents.

If we are to experience a fulfilling life, work that we love, healthy relationships, etc. it is time we began to explore more circular thinking instead of the linear thinking that has a dead-end. We need to make a decision to LIVE our lives in the now, to dream, to imagine, to explore, to embrace our lives in a dynamic way. Only when we are able to fully embrace the NOW, can we fulfill our inherent gifts and passions.

I’ve often said this, and I’m not the only one, “when you get to the end of your life, hopefully you lived it for yourself and not for others.” One Life. Learn to pay attention to guidance and become aware of times to move forward and times to contemplate.

I’ve penned 10 books and have 4 in the hopper. I’m called to add to one or another yet am not obsessed to write every day. I find that I may receive a knowing or hear someone say something that sparks my creativity and then I can sit down and write from that knowing to my heart’s desire. I may feel I’d like to finish one or another by a certain time yet am not driven by that. It’s a possibility not a promise. And, magically, one day I may be called to complete one or another without any special demand or specific goal.

When I get bogged down with set goals, expectations, etc. my creativity suffers. Perhaps we can learn to live with joy knowing we are where we need to be, doing things that bring us pleasure, content with our lives, and allowing ourselves to experience magic and spontaneous bliss, each moment. Think about it.

“Live Today! Do not allow your spirit to be softened of your happiness to be limited by a day you cannot have back or a day that does not yet exist.” ― Steve Maraboli

“Every instant of our lives is essentially irreplaceable: you must know this in order to concentrate on life.”
― André Gide

“In a world myriad as ours, the gaze is a singular act: to look at something is to fill your whole life with it, if only briefly.” ― Ocean Vuong

Thoughts on Holidays

 

by Rev. Amari Magdalena

As of 10am this morning, I've already been inundated with holiday and black Friday ads in the hundreds on all of my hotmail, yahoo, and gmail accounts. It got me thinking about consumerism and lost purpose of the Festivals of Light, seasonal hibernation, and the going within period that winter presents.

Listening to the Eagles "Life in the Fast Lane" yet again, I am seeing more and more the one-way trip most of us are on that in no way supports our spirits. I'm also remembering a Christmas that my late, great friend, Jonell and I shared with homeless families in Seattle. We did the unthinkable in American culture. No football or other entertainment from air waves was shared. We actually played games and all decorated Christmas cookies. We did have small gifts for the family members yet the emphasis was on simply sharing a loving meal, good company, and hearing their stories. This prompted me to write what follows.

From Diwali in Fall through January cultures have presented their version of returning Light during times of growing darkness. All cultures had such celebrations. Gatherings of family and community marked these special days. Emphasis was on collective experience and no self-gratification of receipt.

What if we restored Holy Days and eschewed Holidays? What if we lite candles, engaged in deep meditation, gifted our time or needed food instead of being guilt tripped into supporting the economy with gifts many cannot afford to give? What if we sat in silence for a while sending healing and peace thoughts to every corner of the planet and all sentient beings? What if we had family gatherings without TV and sports but activities that engaged everyone? What if we wrote letters and sent cards to people alone and far away? What if we honored humanity above consumerism?

Could we change the tenor and tempo of a culture that eats people up and spits them out without a thought of kindness, compassion, caring, or recognition that Oneness means like the word Namaste, I see the essential being in you and honor it? Could we begin to grasp what indigenous peoples have know since time out of mind, that ALL sentient beings are possessed of the same vital essence and are due our respect and honor?

What if? Imagine the light illumining our entire planet.

“The Joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing each other’s loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of the holidays.” –

W. C. Jones

 Thoughts On Turning 81 Today

by Rev. Amari Magdalena

Last year at 80 I was in the Emergency Room of Mountain View Hospital awaiting a room through the night.

As I reflect back, I grew up in a time of more innocence and fewer freedoms for women and people of color. We now live in a time of lost innocence and great freedoms though some are being eroded by misguided information and desire to return to other times.

It seems in the 60’s we threw out the proverbial baby with the bath water and didn’t think about some things that created a much nicer society with more compassion and caring for our neighbors and residents of the world.

Looking back, I have some memories that stick out. When I was around 8 or 9 my mother threw a birthday party for me replete with games. I won most of them and was a bit daunted that mom told me they were for the guests not me!

In childhood we had a friend with a small airplane so first up in the air flights were with them. Around 12 I took my first big plane, though prop, from Chicago to Detroit and that was quite the thrill. Last airplane ride was one of my fiancé’s who was an aerial photographer. We flew through some clouds and I opened the small window and stuck my hand in the clouds. What a thrill. Can’t imagine many people have done that.

We moved a lot because of my dad’s jobs throughout the Midwest. In Iowa we had snow piled higher than me. Everywhere there were lakes to swim in. Country homes and farms were prevalent. Burma Shave had plastered the roads with a bit of silliness. We counted cows or different state license plates to avert boredom. When McDonald’s came, we longed for the 15 cents hamburgers. At ice cream shops you could get 3 scoops for $.15. The candy stores near schools had many treats for a nickel or dime.

We had lots of hand-me-downs from older cousins. Sometimes that was great except for a few that had no taste in clothes. No big malls. One-car families. No on-line shopping. No cell phones. Party lines for many phone connections. We were generally safe and did not receive all the warnings that children are now subject too. We marauded from daylight to dusk in the farm areas of our relatives and no one wondered what we were up to as any neighbor would help if we had a bee sting or some accident. We never locked our doors unless going away for a length of time. Trust was almost a given in the Midwest.

Growing up every where we lived there was family. We had many, many gatherings and took vacations with my father’s sister and her tribe. We exchanged kids many times in the summer as we were often better behaved at relative’s than home. We settled in a suburb of Detroit and I so missed our move and making new friends. It was primarily a blue-collar place so my dad was king pin with a shirt, tie, suit, and hat. At 16 I was crowned the 4th of July Beauty Queen and rode in the parade and got a modeling scholarship. Too bad I was about ½ inch too short for New York but soon tired of mindless primping.

Got married at 20 on my birthday, not a great time to marry, too young and too influenced by the honored MRS. degree vs. getting the education I wanted. By 33, I wanted freedom and joined the 2nd Women’s Movement and was very active. Got out of that marriage and engaged in a 10 years “domestic partnership” with a person of another race and socio/economic background. Between the pairings I had 4 children. Left that and made-up time to have a postponed childhood and fun for a number of years. 3rd marriage of 4 (four) months was a rather short-lived mistake and have been single ever since.

Started a, to be, women’s international organization, sex education hotline, radio show, tv interviews started an international spiritual institute and now a non-profit for spiritual guidance and lived all over the place. The early pack up and move must have gotten to me. Still have the itch, though I love Las Cruces, but tamping it down as I'm not as mobile now. Without a proper bachelorette degree, I was a CFO, Corporate Secretary, Comptroller, Marketing & Advertising Consultant, Project Manager, Wedding Officiant, Instructor in Colleges, Entrepreneur, Author of 10 Books, Co-Founder of a Women’s Center at a University, and a few other jobs to make ends meet. All the other kids in the family were sent to college and what courses I picked up were mostly upper division and just couldn’t see the use of going back to get the needed 101-201’s. Got a Master’s Degree through my ministry and that sufficed.

Everywhere I lived as an adult, I’ve had wonderful experiences and made friends some of whom I’m still in touch with. Made one true life-long best friend who passed in 2010. And, lots of friends now passed or still living across the country. Loss becomes more and more and years rolls by. The sad state of affairs is that we spend gazillions to elect questionable leadership when all that money could be used to conquer disease and address mental health.

Definitely have had a lot of health challenges in the past year though seem to be turning corner with my new dietary regimen. Life is different for sure though still many rewards and lots of sunshine. Celebrated 1 year since my open-heart surgery in late October. Now focusing on my non-profit and enjoying the days. As Paul Newman said after 80, every day is a gift.

We are in such a hurry to grow up when we are young and never quite prepare with the challenges that come as these old cars wear down. Beam me up Scottie is yet a reality. I often told my four children that we have a very SHORT time to be children and a LONG time to be responsible adults! I unfortunately do not see my 9 grandchildren often enough so thank heavens for smart phones with apps to see them.

Do I have wisdom to share? Should I be so foolish as to offer it? Engage your life! Maybe we go around and reincarnation is real. Or maybe this is a one-shot deal. Keep dynamic, not static though it may seem more comfortable. As Woody Allen posited in Hannah in Her Sisters, maybe go around only once, maybe there is no god, but wouldn’t you want to enjoy the experience? YES, to that! And, when you get to the end of this life, wouldn’t you want to say that you enjoyed it and didn’t live it for someone else?

On Loving

 

On Loving

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

I’ve been pondering love in my life, romantic love specifically.  We have so many “Somebody done someone wrong” songs and other laments about love lost.  Our music and many movies are filled with that theme.  They suggest loving hurts and it scars us when it doesn’t work out.

I’m going to suggest here, that is not true.  The real gift of love is that it opens and strengthens our hearts.  Yes, the relationship may end and perhaps not as we’d have it, but that is the relationship. The love we felt and gave to another never dies.  It is built into the reserve of our heart’s capacity to love. Loving empowers our ability to feel, deeply.

Yes, of course, there are infatuations that may experience brevity.  Even those short time, and perhaps illusionary exercises in extending love, expand the capacity.  Many years ago, I did an experiment with a man I was dating.  It was apparent to me in the very beginning that he was afraid to love.  I made a choice.  I decided and wondered what it would be like to love someone who couldn’t reciprocate. It turned out to be a grand experiment for about 9 months-a good gestation period. 

In that experiment I discovered that extending love was actually more important than receiving it. Wonder of wonders!  We tend to believe that it is in receiving love, that our heart grows.  Perhaps that is just not true.  We are hardwired to love; it’s built into our emotional quotient. It’s actually the very nature of the soul.  Thus, extending love brings us into alignment with the God spirit within.

I’ve been privileged to have two “great loves” in this earth experience and many smaller loves. To this day, I can recall the feeling of loving them and know that is a treasure to be valued.  Yes, the relationships did not survive the shifting sands of time yet those feelings were never snuffed out.

Of course, I went through all of the feelings of loss as I didn’t understand the whys.  I’ve learned in my nearing 81 years, that if we are very lucky, we’ve mastered The Game of Life. We’ve successfully moved from The Fool to The World and been given wisdom. What a gift!

If I had some wisdom here it would be to not build barriers around your heart that limit having had the experience of loving and being loved. Avoid “hiding your heart from sight and locking your dreams at night,” as the song goes. I’d also suggest experiencing deep love the type of love that survives the passage of time and leads us to truly know the other. And, further, I suggest learning to love yourself, unconditionally.  That latter type of love builds the base for future love that is complimentary not compensatory.

Love!  It builds your soul and helps us move into the ecstasy of cosmic oneness.

“A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.” – Thomas Carlyle “

“There is no remedy for love, but to love more.”– Henry David Thoreau

2021 Closing a Challenging Year

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

We seemingly begin each new year with hopes, dreams, goals, and those nefarious resolutions that are oft whisked away in the buzz of living in an electronic age.  Some of us attempt to reclaim the newness with other New Years, Chinese, Nowruz etc.  Anything to keep hope of unmet aspirations alive. Yet life moves on and we are met by the positive and negative.  Hopefully we’ve learned as in Tao, to not place an uneven emphasis on either.

That illusive quality of time seemed to dissolve in 2021, a numerological 5 year of change.  Just as many of us were celebrating a change in governance, a January political coup taught us how very fragile is our democracy. We witnessed a rise in hatred when love and acceptance were much needed. Conquering a deadly virus seemed within reach and yet we end this year with a troubling variant seemingly taking us back to ground zero.  Frustration over isolation and dramatic change in our usual routines and lifestyle has robbed many of sanity and resulted in concurring increases in violence.

In truth, on a global level, personal, and nationwide, we’ve had a helluva couple years.  It is as if we’ve all worn our clothing inside out and been exposed for our fragility and doused our fledging vanity. So very many isms have defined our daily lives that many feel battle fatigue.

Sorrow with so many deaths has pervaded many families and households. Beyond the usual turnover of aging and disease, the 2019 Virus and subsequent deaths have wrung us out emotionally, and for too many financially. We’ve awakened to a much harsher reality than our somewhat gilded existence prepared us for. Perhaps it is like being deposed.  We suffered the illusion of freedom, abundance, opportunity, growing equality, parity, and very high standard of living compared to the rest of the world. The division from the super haves and the growing have nots has diminished our world Light as a place to legally immigrate too for possibilities.

Yet, 2022 finds us still here!  Despite needed adjustments in socializing, community building, economics, politics, family unity or disparity, trust, and belief in the inherent good of humankind, we’ve had a global shift. So here we are, and the real question is, what are we each going to do about helping our fellow travelers on planet Earth thrive.  We now know we are not alone and what affects each of us, impacts the others.

Global Community will be part of the emphasis of this numerological 6 Year, 2022.  Return to some life affirming values and focus on other, not self, will be another.  Giving not receiving will be hailed as a must if we are all to share in the resources and inherent best interests of our global citizenry. Self, this, and that, must now take a back seat.  I and we will decrease in importance and emphasis on Us will be prominent. Housing may now require the sacrifice of individual domiciles to multiple and shared dwellings.  Less extravagance will need to prevail from richest to marginally less advantaged.

And the gift of the coming year? Service.  That will be the hallmark of saving the planet and our fragile occupants. As many people have discovered, good works and community involvement give us purpose. When other becomes the focus, the niggling issues of unhappiness, depression, grief, lack, abuse, etc. fades in import.

As we tomorrow, welcome 2022, let’s commit to finding our service and offering in all ways so that we can say when it is 12-31-2022, we gave of ourselves to foster hope, resurrect our planet, close our divides, restore global health, and brought that inimitable quality of Love to our precious sphere and its inhabitants.

May 2022 Bless each and every one of you with an important Service that you can provide to others along with health, wellness, and a sense of contentment knowing you contributed to the good of All.

 

 

 

Separation: The 2nd Veil of Illusion

 by Rev. Amari Magdalena

Separation. In my book “Unbecoming Me,” separation is the 2^nd veil of illusion.  It begins with the separation from the umbilical cord at birth.  Emotional events that follow through our lives may keep many in the second veil for perhaps their lifetime. Surrendering that veil of illusion requires trust, of yourself and trust of others.

What we’ve observed in our population since 2016 is a growing separation due, in part, to disparate views and entrenched unwillingness to consider reevaluation of what have become solidified values.

The media can, in part, be held accountable for this fractioning with severe biases and false reporting becoming new true source for way too many. We teetered on disillusion of our democracy on January 6^th with a shocking insurrection.

Add to this, we’ve been living uncomfortably with a global pandemic which has been met with the same depth of resistance and misinformation.  Many people don’t know anymore who to believe. Some wave flags of freedom without the understanding of just what freedom is about.

Thus, neighbor to neighbor may be avoiding one another or alternatively confronting each other. We’ve made manifest what a spiritual counselor told me years ago: “If you treat your neighbor the way that you treat yourself, they’d move!”

In my spiritual belief system, I believe there is no separation between us, energetically. At the very essence level of beingness, there simply is no “us and them.” Sitting today listening to a presentation about the concept that we are all energetically together and that impact one of us, impacts all of us, I was reminded that I’ve felt separation from family since early childhood. I’ve always thought of myself as a round peg in a square hole. 

As I reflected on this, I thought of something said in the movie “My Great Big Fat Greek Wedding” by the father of the bride. He was explaining that the name Miller (son-in-law’s last name) distilled down stands for apples and their Greek name stilled down meant oranges. He then said, “apples and oranges, we’re different but were still fruit!”

Got me considering further that round and square are just two of many shapes in math, in the universe, and in life.  Were all shapes though we are all members of the greater human family. While I was contemplating sending love to the greater occupants of the Universe, it was a reminder to start with the family and come to acceptance that we are different, and it is past time to simply accept the difference rather than separate. And, hopefully, in acceptance, I would cease to feel an outsider and end that final veil of separation. 

I’m in hopes that we will all, lay our burdens of separation down and just accept our human family in more loving thoughts.  Don’t have to live with them; only let the illusionary divide dissolve and return to the nothingness from which it came.

Peace Be.

“Whether you know it or not, we leave parts of ourselves wherever we go.” Simon Van Booy

“The greatest illusion in the world is the illusion of separation.  Things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same. We are all one people, but we live as if divided.” Abhay Sutar

“We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness.” Thich Nhat Hanh

“…For all we touch bears us, and all that touches us we bear, and we are either full harvests or famines of our own delusion.” Amari Magdalena

Privilege Most White Americans Enjoy

 

By Rev. Amari Magdalena

I was thinking about this when I awoke today. I’ve fallen below middle class economically and yet my life, in comparison, with so many in the U.S. and everywhere is luxurious. When I awakened and sat for a few moments on the bed, I was sitting on a high-end mattress designed to give full body support and sleeping on a pillow with similar properties.

Getting out of bed, I wandered into the bathroom and sat on a toilet with an upgraded toilet seat, running water, and excrement swished down the pipes.  I did not have to wander outside in heat or cold to go to the bathroom that even with chemicals, stunk and was NOT environmentally controlled.

I washed my face with warm water from my plumbed in sink and did my morning routine with upscale soap and toweled dry with soft fabric towels. Grabbed the morning medications and vitamins and wandered into the kitchen where I have a stove, oven, microwave, garbage disposal, fan, lights etc.  Opened the refrigerator to see what I fancied for breakfast.  Had no gnawing hunger that would go unsated. Ate designer yogurt, drank designer coffee, and nibbled on a few designer crackers.

Then I wandered into my closet to choose from a slew of clothing possibilities, that I deem needing replacement because some are showing wear and picked from the many choices clothing suitable for the season and weather forecast. Didn’t get to choose pretty shoes, woe is me, as I had to wear my designer tennis shoes with the Richie brace to help my ankle. Pulled on the compression socks while bemoaning, for a minute, just how unfashionable they were rather than saying thank heavens I have the correct attire for the body I live in. Oh, and I forgot that I put on my designer (some by me) jewelry to accent my outfit.

Drove my designer Hybrid Prius with its 50 miles per hour gas consumption to downtown Las Cruces to attend services in a properly masked congregation and separated for COVID-19 exposure room.  Was able to make a donation and enjoyed a great service replete with music, meditation, and stimulating address. Drove home in the same designer car.

The temperatures were rising as I drove, and my little designer car’s air conditioning easily kept the car’s interior very comfortable. I got out of my car and endured (😊) less than a minute of 90-degree temperatures, stepping into my air-conditioned apartment at a very comfortable 78 degrees.  Poured myself a glass of filtered water from my designer filtering pitcher and relaxed into the afternoon.

Was hungry when I arrived home nearing 1 pm and noshed on chips, salsa, and crackers-designer of course!  Then sat at my designer, top of the line, computer with my designer orthopedic chair, and desk at appropriate ergonomic height to spend time answering emails, texts (from my designer two phones), and contemplating doing some work (remote work).

And here I am making a point of our collective frame of reference that begs new understanding and labeling.  Even at this point in my life, I see all the entitlement and privilege that even on what is now considered poverty living, I am comfortable beyond half of the world’s imagining.

No crazed religious zealots are taking over my country and mouthing promises never to be kept while frightened citizenry literally run for their lives to a possible chance of freedom. The air in my city is not filled with smoke from engaged weapons of destruction used to keep people in fear. Troops are not marching down my street breaking into homes and taking people into custody. I am not asked to wear hot, uncomfortable clothing that annihilates my identify and robs me of long fought for equitable freedoms and whose adherence to, will be necessary if I am to live.

Too many voices today ask what our country can do for them, not what they can do for our country. Assumptions of entitlement run rampart along with privilege. We have SO much here, isn’t it a bit past time to begin a regimen of gratitude and thankfulness for the bounty most of us enjoy even with reduced income?

Yes, I work hard as I approach my eighties and some of it is very stressful taking a toll on my health.  Yes, I have a lot of health issues now.  Yes, I have debts to be concerned about too often.  Yes, I made the choice to work so that I could afford to live a tad more comfortably. Yes, I made choices that have created the me of now and who cares!

I recognized this day just how very privileged I am and as I look about, and say Thank You! I hope more and more of us will wake up to the lives we lead that are so far above real need that it is ridiculous. And even more importantly, have us recognize the real obligation for giving back from our abundance each in our own way. In other words, sharing our world in ways that may ultimately lift the lives of others vs. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous-or not, just too rich not to recognize the need to share from our excess.

“I was not born with a silver spoon, but an old rusty steel spoon bent all out of shape. Over the year's I made that old spoon straight again. I polished that spoon so hard, now my spoon shines just as if it were made of newly minted silver...!”
― Craig Langstaff

“When I think about creating abundance, it's not about creating a life of luxury for everybody on this planet; it's about creating a life of possibility. It is about taking that which was scarce and making it abundant.” ―Peter Diamandis