by Rev. Amari Magdalena
Our ego, a constant companion or one
that sabotages all our relationships. This is the question. What is it for and
how does it serve us? More importantly,
when is it time to pry its long fingernails off our day-to-day living.
In the beginning, from infancy, life
is all about us. If we are fortunate to have parents that welcomed the rather
thankless job of raising children, we were coddled, fawned over, even provided
entertainment. At each stage of the “I”
growth, we were encouraged to master each task of becoming human. For many we were the main entertainment.
However, that mostly did not last.
Astrology divides the zodiac into
three groups: “I”, “We,” and “Us.” The first 4 planets are about mastering the
“I” (Aires, Taurus, Gemini, and Cancer). The next 4 planets are for us to
master relationships, of all kinds (Leo, Virgo, Libra, and Scorpio). Finally,
we have the 3rd group focused on the Universal “Us” (composed of
Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces).” If we were to divide our lives
into these groupings the first might be from say 1-26; the next 27-53, and last
54-78 for example.
Even our growth in mind, body, and
spirit supports these periods. First, we master the “I” with complete
identification as a self. Next, we move to the “We” and see a second mastery of
“We” which includes all kinds of relationships.
It requires that we look a bit outside of our I, me, and mine, in all
circumstances towards working partnerships. This is one area of significant
failure for many. We bring the unmet
needs of our childhood to the party romantically, in employment, and all areas
of our lives. As a former HR Director I often observed that the workplace can
represent a very dysfunctional family if too many of the workers failed to get
past the proverbial “I.”
Yet approaching that final third of
our lives, we are often more interested in the esoteric, our legacy, and final
times. At this juncture, we are more likely to move into the Universal
“Us.” Isn’t it interesting that the
abbreviation for the United States if US? Someone was on the ball with that!
Here is where we finally surrender that old Ego and allow ourselves to provide
service to others. Of course, some fail at this task and end up alone and
miserable. I would not wish that on anyone.
OK, so how do we accomplish putting
this part of us that is selfish and self-centered to rest. First, I find it
useful to give your Ego a name. I chose my mother’s foster parents name for her
that she hated, Mildred. Afterall, it was her judgments, criticisms, and
goading, that had preeminence for the first 2/3rds of my life. I could hear her
voice in my head much too often. I wanted to banish her to Siberia or
Kafiristan but instead came up with the golden parachute program.
The way it works is that first you
need to flatter your ego and thank him/her for doing such a fabulous job. Flattery is much appreciated by Ego. Next, conjure
up the ideal place for the Ego to go into retirement with all the bells and
whistles that are compelling. Sell it hard. Next assure the Ego that should you
need its council; you promise to get in touch.
The old “don’t call us, we’ll call you.” Not too many egos can
escape such thoughtful flattery and helpful decision making.
Now for some reprogramming. Every
time you hear a judgment in your head, stop, and then ask yourself if that
judgment has any purpose in your head now.
Is it true? Could it be true now? Have you ever spoken in judgment? Is
it possible that you might? Just decide to make what is said irrelevant. It’ll save your sanity and eventually you’ll
shut down those little stage 2 bleed-throughs.
Finally, you’ll find you are no
longer caught up in many of the personal emotional turmoil of youth. With time running out, your desire for ire
wanes. This gives you the gift of brushing off things that have lost importance
like ego. You may become more concerned about legacy, emotional equity, and
ending days that move at warp speed. Like the snake, you begin to slough off
the old sensitive skin, for more reliable ways to interact and engage. You
finally understand “LET GO!” This helps you concern yourself with the “Us” and
Universal Good.
With this you’ve completed the
contract you made in this incarnation. You’ve experienced separation, which was
the major lesson of this life ride. Once you’ve mastered it and moved into a
less attached spiritual view of the Universe, you are as MLK said, “Free at
last, free at last!” Welcome home!
“True self is non-self, the awareness
that the self is made only of non-self-elements. There's no separation between
self and other, and everything is interconnected. Once you are aware of that
you are no longer caught in the idea that you are a separate entity.” _
Thich Nhat Hanh
